Growing Pains

When I was an young I day dreamed a lot about "growing up". This ambiguous idea consisted mostly of special privileges like, no homework, staying up late, and watching movies rated higher than "PG". I viewed being "grown up" as something you arrived at like climbing a mountain, or taking a train. I wasn't sure at what age one "arrived" at grown up station but I was SO excited to get there. My 11th year was the year I associate with pain. Not so much the humiliation kind that so often visits this tender age, but the physical kind that comes with rapid growth (and I mean freakishly rapid, thanks mom). I started the school-year 5ft, a fairly average height for an 11 year old, but, before the following summer I reached the towering height of 5ft 6in and was still climbing. 6 shoe sizes and a few months later I topped out at 5ft 10in, and to awkward to carry glass. Now you can imagine what kind of impact this kind of rapid cell division has on the human body, and from what I remember my pants were always short (this was before Capri's were "in"), gym class was a new form of torture, and leg cramps woke me every night. This kind of "growing up" was not quite as I had imagined. I may have been the size of an adult but I still didn't feel that I had "arrived".
Having celebrated a recent birthday, I have been reflecting on being"grown up". I am more comfortable in my "freakishly tall" body, have accomplished many of my goals. I am married to an amazing man, have a house, two dogs, and a cat, but some days I feel as if I am still waiting to pull up into "grown up station" and have everything together. To somehow be able to balance my dreams with my realities. To stay organized, pay the bills on time, keep the car clean, and eat 3 balanced meals a day. At grown up station the toilet get's cleaned more than every two weeks, the laundry never piles up I never forget to put soap in the dish washer. Now you may be thinking "Ha! this girl wants what doesn't exist"......but until recently I viewed grown up station as a reality and I wanted to be there fast!
So after all of this reflection, the other day I decided to put on my grown up pants and get things moving...I took my car to the body shop, got the oil changed, and got it cleaned (first time since the wedding). Now I am not a car person. If it has to do with cars I generally ignore it until it is smoking, stinking, or falling apart....part of my weird procrastination gene I guess. I tend to want Mr. Mc to handle all car related doings so, I was feeling quite proud of myself, and upon coming home, expected much applause and goings on about my accomplishments. Well, needless to say what awaited for me upon my arrival was nothing but a kitchen full of dirty dishes and a hubby focused on budget and apparantly something I forgot to pay. Grouchily, I buckled down and did the dishes (still no applause) made lists of all my personal bills and a schedule of how to pay them (No applause) and was trying to set some financial goals(you guessed it, still no applause). I moodily sat on the couch and brooded..... It was about that time that I got it. I was being a grow up and it hurt! This year has been a bit like my 11th year, I've had the equivalent to 10 inches of growing up (Husband, House, Dogs, etc.) and with this growing has come the pains!
Now, I have embraced that "Grown up station" is a myth and that we are continually changing, learning, and growing into who we are meant to be. I may never have it all together and that's fine......So after a bit of convo with Mr. Mc about bills I decided to indulge in some of the good parts of being "grown up" and enjoyed a PBR on the back patio and looked at my Christmas lights......question your childhood myths, you might just learn something interesting about how you live your life.

Starbucks Debacle and a concofeny of life

Hello again readers! It has been a while since by last blog and I have several excuses a) it was my birthday week and I took a break from life b) I was in a little funk, and c) There hasn't been much in my day to blog about. Actually looking at the list those could all be one thing, but anywho I am back and you may have noticed from the title of this posting there isn't a clear direction to what you are about to read so bare with me and you may get a laugh or lesson from my anecdotes.
So this morning started out a little rough. Now mornings are not usually easy for me but lately they have been extra rough since I have discontinued the use of pharmaceuticals to ensure a proper nights sleep....that is right....no more Ambien! I have been pretty dependent on them the past year, and now am trying to live more holistically. So far the results have been less than satisfactory. I rolled out of bed to take Mr. Mc. to work around 9:30 with the promise that I would stop by the ole'SB (starbucks) and treat myself to a delicious cup of extra-strong goodness to get the blood flowing. I was feeling slightly guilty about the expense (frugalista moment) since I have a perfectly good coffee maker at home but since it was already a bagillion degrees out (yeah bagillion check weather.com) the process of brewing and then cooling and then adding almond milk and agave just seemed like WAAAAAYYYY too much work and time for my sleep deprived brain. I was also feeling guilty about the milk (Trying to phase out animal products) and the caffeine! Wow you might be thinking, way too much guilt for one morning but yeah....that is how I roll, a guilty insomniac. So I had a brain-full when I drove up to order. Now I don't get too fancy with the coffee lately just some iced caffeine with milk and sweetener to go please, but it being SB I always feel like I need to use the lingo. So I like to order coffee with extra shots as "red eye" one extra ,or "black eye" two extra. My sis-in-law Linzy (who works at SB) pointed out to me once that she likes to order a "tall back eye" cuz it sounds like you want a "tall Black Guy"! This entertains me so much that I usually order one just so I can say "I'd like a tall black guy to go please! mmmmm! (they never notice in the drive through that you say that) So....feeling mischievous but obviously not quite awake I go to order and say something like this. "morning, I'd like a Venti Tall Guy!" AHHH....I totally botched my own joke and the poor girl on the other side was like what? I awkwardly resisted the urge to yell "Psych!" and drive off quickly, and instead ordered a " uhhh Venti Black eye....with uhhhh 3 spenda's..... and uhhhh extra milk".....Doh! So much for my cool coffee drinking composure! As I pulled up to the window I didn't even want to make eye contact with the barista, I shamefully gave her my plastic took my coffee and left. I didn't notice until I pulled out that my coffee was hot! Ughh. In all of my flustration (flustered frustration) I forgot to say iced! So....I paid 4 something for some embarrassment and I couldn't even drink it until I went home and put ice in it (cuz you know it was a bagillion degrees outside).....and that was the start to my morning.
On another note, probably due to the lack of activity in our nest. I have been contemplating the start of many new things! I will not blog about them today since most are just random thoughts not yet formed completely in my head but it is very refreshing to explore new ideas and grow into who I am meant to be! If we are not growing how will we ever bare fruit?